New Place

Well, it’s finished. The move is complete, and the place is wonderful. The only part of moving I hate, is scoping out the new area for the eating joints, corner stores, and all the other assorted places folks might need to go.

Moving

No new posts for a few days… doing the moving thing.

Joke of the Day

This will make you laugh….. at least it will if you are an IT person.

Joke Of The Day:
Diary Of An AOL User…

July 18 – I just tried to connect to America Online. I’ve heard it is the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I’d better hold onto it incase they don’t ever send me anther one! I can’t connect. I don’t know what is wrong.

July 19 – Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don’t see why. He’s just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am?

July 22 – I bought the modem. I couldn’t figure out where it goes. It wouldn’t fit in the monitor or the printer. I’m confused.

July 23 – I finally got the modem in and hooked up. that nine year old next door did it for me. But it still don’t work. I cant get online.

July 25 – That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America Online for me. He’s so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he says that’s just another service. What a modest kid. He’s so smart and he does these services for people. Anyway he’s smarter then the jerks who sold me the modem. They didn’t even tell me about communications software. Bet they didn’t know. And why do they put two telephone jack holes in the back of a modem when you only need one? And why do they have one labeled phone when you are not suppose to hook it to the phone jack on the wall? I thought the dial tone sounded funny! Boy, are modem makers dumb! But the kid figured it out by the sound.

July 26 – What’s the Internet? I thought I was on America Online. Not this Internet thing. I’m confused.

July 27 – The nine year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. I told him he must be a genius. He says that he is compared to me. Maybe he’s not so modest after all.

July 28 – I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. maybe I need to buy a microphone.

July 29 – I found this thing called Usenet. I got out of it because I’m connected to America Online not Usenet.

July 30 – These people in this Usenet thing keep using capital letters. How do they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.

JULY 31 – I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT HAVING A CAPITAL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT WAS THIS CAPS LOCK KEY. WHY DIDN’T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT A CHEAP KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS ISN’T THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THAT’S A STANDARD. I TOLD HIM I DIDN’T WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD AN IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION.

AUGUST 1 – I FOUND THIS THING CALLED THE USENET ORACLE. IT SAYS THAT IT CAN ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INTERNET. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON.

AUGUST 2 – I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HA! HA! I WASN’T SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE TIMES.

AUGUST 3 – I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DON’T NOW SPIDERS GREW THAT LARGE.

AUGUST 4 – THE ORACLE RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ IT WAS RUDE. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO REC.HUMOR.ORACLE. I WASN’T SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22 MORE TIMES.

AUGUST 5 – SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO USE PROFANITY.

AUGUST 6 – SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES. WHAT A STUPID JERK. IM NOT SHOUTING! IM NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING! HOW CAN THEY LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET?

August 7 – Why have a Caps Lock key if you’re not suppose to use it? Its probably an extra feature that costs more money.

August 8 – I just read this post called make money fast. I’m so exited. I’m going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every news group I could find.

August 9 – I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I will have to work on it some more.

August 10 – I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that AOL should be wiped off the face of the earth. I wonder what an AOL is.

August 11 – I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I’ve looked and looked but I can’t find that group.

August 12 – I sent a post to every Usenet group on the Internet asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. hopefully someone will help. I cant ask the kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house he’s laughing so hard he can’t eat or sleep or do his homework. So they wont let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of humor. I don’t know why the rec.humor group didn’t like my chicken joke. Maybe they only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts about my 56 posts of the joke and they used bad words.

August 13 – I sent another post to every Usenet group on the Internet asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. I had forgot yesterday to include my new signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will want to read my favorite poem so I included it. I’m also going to add that short story I like.

August 14 – Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing. I told him I don’t have an account at his bank. He’s so dumb.

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OK…. And users wonder why the IT guys are always laughing in their part of the cube farm.

Enjoyment

As a species, we are creatures of habit. We love to have everything orderly. We want to know what is going to happen tomorrow, the day after, and the day after. We have come to the point where micro-manage our selves into not really living our lives. So, try this one out……. live for today.

Try to think about what will make you happy right now and do it. ( barring the chance that it’s illegal) Live is too damned short to worry about what is going to happen tomorrow, next month, or next year. Sure, planning for retirement or the standard things like bills, and ordinary obligations are a part of that life. Think on this though….. how many of you have planned your “fun”? Friday I am going to XYZ place with XYZ friend and we are going to have fun from 7-10 pm. Why not go have fun right now?

Live for today, for you never know what is going to happen tomorrow.

True feelings

People say ” Don’t be afraid to make your true feelings known.  People will respect you for it, for they will know what to expect, and where you are coming from”.  The hell you say.  In today’s society I believe that in the MINORITY of the cases this is beneficial, NOT the majority.  We have evolved into such a litigious society that expressing your true feelings will put you on the forefront of scrutiny.  I my opinion ( for what that’s worth) the truest feelings are best served for those who you hold in the highest of confidence, and people who you care about…… in that order.

I do not imply that you will be sued, or charged with a crime for your beliefs.  We are ( as a society ) so paranoid at what others think of us, and fitting in than ever before.  Expressing your beliefs might put you in the ” Black List” or the “In Crowd” depending on the spectrum.  To all of this I say…. Fuck you in the neck, I’ll think, feel, and believe what I like.  And if you don’t like it……. that’s Your Problem.

OK, the Bastard Jr has had his serious post of the week…..  If it’s too much….  Sorry bout yer luck!!

Be cautious in your desires……

There is an old saying ” Be careful what you wish for, as the gods may choose to amuse themselves and grant it”.

So, for all you folks that have been bugging me to write again…… Here ya go!!

( Sorry bout yer luck )   =-P

Sleep

Sleep can be a beautiful thing….. except when you aren’t getting any.    This statement can apply to many things.  Sex, Food, companionship, etc.     For many months, I was suffering from insomnia.  I would get on average of a few hrs of sleep a day.  I am certain this was do to stress, depression, or whatever.  Since evil one v.1.1  left  I am sleeping 7-8 hrs a day….. and loving it.  For this, my attitude has greatly improved.  Hope your’s is in a good place too.

Weather Forcasts

       Has anyone ever noticed the hit/miss ratio when it comes to weather forcasts?   It seems they are only right about 20% of the time in my opinion.  All this week NOAA  ( the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration ) has forcast rain and thunderstorms for my city.  10% – 30% I don’t even pay attention to, but if you are going to put up a 60% of Heavy rain with Isolated thunderstorms likely……  I better at the very least see some clouds.  If I told a client that building his machine would take 1 1/2 days and it took 4 days, would I get his business again?  Probably not.  So why do we tolerate a person who gets a college degree, and only has to be right 20% of the time.  Wouldn’t the dollars be better spent on …..oh say  a better  education?

Type type type

For some reason I am feeling particularly inspired to write, so as soon as some of these thoughts rolling around in twisted mind of mine straighten out you’ll get more posts today.

Today

Today is a new day.

The sun has not yet risen, nor has the moon set.

Bring it what it may.

For what it brings, it shall be met.

I will face the new day with a smile.

For all pain is gone for a while.

Today is a new day.

OK, not often do I take to writing my diluted form of poetry, but that one struck me. Not for a very long time have I felt good about facing a new day, but for once I am glad it is here. Life has many roads to travel. The roads bring with them an emotional roller-coaster. Leaving you joyous one minute, and Morose the next. Today I am going to be happy…. Period. Any one that may have a disagreement with that…. Can go fuck themselves in the neck….. With their own shitty attitude!! ( Props to Mr. Angry for the attitude part ). Anyway, I hope everyone has a very joyful day, and if you aren’t….. Come see me when you are =-).