Answering Machine Messages

Now few folks have actual answering machines anymore.  Most telecommunications providers offer a digital message service to their customers. If you are like us, we have a feature from our Voice over IP provider, that works…..Never.  They have tried to fix it… no avail    People say they hear the message, but we can’t retrieve them so… I have had an Idea  hehehe… >-P      /engage bastard mode.

Being that we can’t hear or retrieve the voice mail messages…. I have come up with a few voice mail greetings that I think I am going to start using on a rotating basis.

1.  According to my daily agenda, giving a shit about talking to you is nowhere to be found… at the sound of the tone…. FUCK OFF

2. I would be happy to answer the phone, but I am having freakishly wild sex right now.  Call back tomorrow.  Oh, and your wife says feed the kids, she’ll be home late.

3. Playing my guitar right now and can’t be bothered to talk to your dumb ass.  Call back and I will be subject to garrote your testicles with a high E string.

These are just some Ideas I have been kicking around.. I’ll post a new list soon.

~ by bofhjr716 on October 30, 2009.