The Hell You Say!

The Bastard Junior Strikes Again!!!

Archive for May 2006

Funny Stuff

with 7 comments

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry
answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd
grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd
grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would
give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go
to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me askhim
some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"

Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"

Theprincipal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer.

Harry: "Bubble gum"

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of heat and excitement?
"Harry: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,"Put Harry
in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong……

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Written by bofhjr716

May 30, 2006 at 2:29 am

Posted in General

Computer Games

with 9 comments

For us "Uber Bastard" geeks, the way we chill out at the end of the day is with a frosty beverage, and a good computer game. For the longest time, it has been MOH(Medal of Honor for all you non gamers). Well the Bastard-in-Law got me hooked on a new game, and like any good addictive personality……I am hooked. I love this game. Over 5 million people play it on-line these days…….. yep, you guessed it…

WORLD of WARCRAFT.

But like anyone else who has been married to a goofy bitch like my wife, I can appreciate a game where I can: shoot, stab, hang, hand grenade, bazooka, club, pound, emasculate, drag, rend, hamstring, slice, dice, puree, and generally just fuck someone up who desperately needs it.

This game lets me do this, so I don't find myself going to be a resident of the state for violations of our domestic violence laws. So hat tip to Blizzard for making the game, so I can vent, and not do the affore mentioned things to the cun…..er I mean wife.

Written by bofhjr716

May 19, 2006 at 4:49 pm

Posted in General

We are the Brillans

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I have recently acquired a new nick-name….. Locutus of Brillo

This stems from the fact that I am a very hairy person. I have been mistaken for "Big Foot" in two Northwestern States. Before Locutus, my nick-name was Neanderthal Man ( because my hands come almost down to my knees), Clubfoot ( thanks to an 11 EE), and others that are too vulgar to mention here.

You will be ASSimilated

Written by bofhjr716

May 15, 2006 at 12:47 pm

Posted in General

Mother’s Day

with one comment

To all the moms and single dads out there….. Happy Mother's Day!!!

🙂 

Written by bofhjr716

May 14, 2006 at 10:47 pm

Posted in General

Hunter/Killer

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That is what the fast attack submarines of the U.S. Navy were designed for. To seek out, and destroy enemy surface ships and submarines. Over the decades since the nuclear first attack sub was launched…. the mission has evolved.

SSN.jpg NSSN.jpg

Attack submarines in today's Navy has multiple roles. From surveillance, delivering troops, mine laying, and so on. The Virgina class New Attack Submarine, or NSSN for short is the most advanced sub in the world, and the men who server on her and her sister-ships are the most highly trained in the fleet.

The men who serve on these boats have a special hardship. The divorce rate for members of the military are high… Very high. The men who serve in the "Silent Service" are 50 % more likely to find their marriage ending in divorce. They spend as much as 6 months under the waves, keeping us safe.

To the men and women of the United States Navy:

The hardships you face while at sea are not taken for granted. The men and women you support, and the people back home love you… and are behind you every step of the way.

Go Navy!!

Written by bofhjr716

May 14, 2006 at 10:38 pm

Posted in General

HOG

with 7 comments

To continue my series on military vehicles….

Most people think tank when tracked vehicle is mentioned. What most folks aren't aware of, is a good portion of tracked vehicles in military service are not tanks. There are Armored Personnel Carriers or APC for Short, The Multiple Launch Rocket System or MLRS, Self Propelled Guns, and my personal favorite ……..

The LVTP-7
LVTP-7.jpg

The AAVP7A1 is an armored assault amphibious full-tracked landing vehicle. The vehicle carries troops in water operations from ship to shore, through rough water and surf zone. It also carries troops to inland objectives after ashore. The amphibious capability of the AAV makes it unique among all DOD systems. This forcible entry amphibious capability is the unique capability that sets the Marine Corps apart from the other services. A portion [64%] of the AAV fleet will undergo a reliability, availability, and maintainability (RAM) upgrade, and a rebuild to standard (RS) retrofit, to ensure Marine AAVs remain maintainable until the arrival of the Advanced Amphibious Assault Vehicle (AAAV).

The AAV-P7A1 Amtrack provides protected transport of up to 25 combat-loaded Marines through all types of terrain. The engine compartment can be completely water-sealed, making it seaworthy. It has an enhanced applique‚ armor kit, or sandwich-plated steel armor, with a layer of Kevlar underneath, to protect the troops from high-caliber weapons fire. It's firepower consists of an M2 .50-cal. machine gun, an MK-19 40mm grenade launcher, and a line charge with C4 explosives for use in clearing mines. It can move at speeds of up to 45 mph on land and five knots at sea.

While underway, the Marines clean and maintain their Amtracks, or what they call their "hogs," every day to prevent them from rusting and to ensure their combat survivability. Nothing escapes their attention. They toil over their machines to tighten loose bolts, check the suspension, squirt a little grease here and there, and give it a good scrubbing. If this vehicle were to break down while under hostile gunfire, the consequences could be disastrous and cost the lives of a lot of good men.

In 1985 the Marine Corps changed the designation of the LVTP7Al to AAV7Al–amphibious assault vehicle-representing a shift in emphasis away from the long-time LVT designation, meaning "landing vehicle, tracked." Without a change of a bolt or plate, the AAV7Al was to be more of an armored personnel carrier and less of a landing vehicle. The LVTP7, which had come into the Marine Corps inventory in the early 1970s, was a quantum improvement over the short-ranged LVTP5 of the Vietnam era. Weighing in at 26 tons (23,991 kg) combat-loaded, and with a three-man crew, it can carry 25 Marines. With a road speed of 45 mph (72 km/h), it is also fully amphibious with water speeds up to 8 mph (13 km/h). It is not as heavily armed or armored as the Army's Bradley infantry fighting vehicle; on the other hand, the M2A1 Bradley carries only seven troop passengers.

To the men and women of the United States Marine Corps: You stand on a wall, as gaurdians of democracy. When we get into a fight, you are the first to go, and last to know. Semper Fi and God Bless

Written by bofhjr716

May 12, 2006 at 5:32 pm

Posted in General

Thou Shalt Not Kill: Justice files 5/11/06

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Doesn't this just give you warm and fuzzies about going to Mass?

Written by bofhjr716

May 11, 2006 at 8:35 pm

Posted in General