The Hell You Say!

The Bastard Junior Strikes Again!!!

Archive for August 2006

You would be proud

with 7 comments

Yes folks that is right.  I believe I handled my attitude and temper with great focus, and dignity. These past few days, yours truly has been down with the latest stomach bug. Every morning and evening I have dutifully notified my boss as to my condition, as I think a good employee should.  This morning the alarm goes off, I pick up the phone and call the boss man. ” Feeling 1000 times better, will see you at 7:00″  He replies ” Well I have a concern.  I am a little worried about the communicability of this bug.  I would hate for you to come back and everyone else get sick and be out for a few days.”  At this point I want to say something witty like “I don’t have cholera, just a stomach bug”, but better judgment kicks in and I say ” I would hate for that to happen too.  I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Although, I have my appetite back, and need restroom visits as little as before I got sick.  I seriously doubt there will be an issue.”  He is quiet for a moment then replies in his Mister Rogers personality ” I believe I would feel better if you went to the doctor, and make sure you are not still contagious before returning to work.”    WTF????   I don’t know how long it has been since any of you reading this have been to a doctor, but trying to get in to see one as a walk in patient is like pulling jaw teeth from a alligator:  If you get it done, you come out a hell-of-a lot more miserable than when you started.  Needless to say, I am a little aggro at the whole deal.  So I go into the office, and speak with boss man.  ” I am ok, all better, and am ready to tackle this project.”  “Well there is an issue here.” he says.  ” This is a business, and there are certain expectations employers have. We all show up at the same time, and leave at the same time, blah blah blah.”  Yes sir I understand” I reply.  In my mind the bastard gene goes into hyper-active overdrive, with a Nitrous Oxide boost.  thoughts like Fuck you in the neck with a stethoscope…..no a time-clock, no …… Conan the Barbarian’s sword!!!!.

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Written by bofhjr716

August 17, 2006 at 3:39 pm

Posted in General, General Rants, Work

Illness

with 3 comments

Being sick, can mean many things, to many people. ( This is even more applicable as it relates to my family….we have our own breed of illnesses.) Around the South Central U.S., and I assume the rest of the country, we have a strain of stomach bug going around.  Yes campers….I have come down with it. Luckily my boss’ significant other is a medical professional.  He has her call me on the phone.  Between breaks for puking and shitting, she tells me..”yep you got the bug, try to get plenty of rest, no real food, and plenty of liquids”  ….. No Shit lady…. (actually a lot of shit thanks) I would have never figured that out. Been hearing that for 20 years. I don’t think a living breathing person over the age of 25 doesn’t know that there is nothing you can do for a virus.  The plus side is that my boss knows I have seen(or at least spoken with) a medical type person.

The down side is this:  

A.) Even Cottonelle feels like #60 grit sandpaper

B.) Chicken broth makes many foods taste great. By it’s self, it tastes horrible.

C.) I have discovered an interesting muscle in my chest, that has been pulled from puking so much.

D.) Worst of all, my son wants to play with Dad, cause he is here, and can’t.

This shit sucks Balls!!!!!

Written by bofhjr716

August 16, 2006 at 10:40 am

Posted in General

AS/400 ……..

with one comment

So today, as I sit home with the latest bug, I figure I can still make myself useful.  I am reading everything the web has to offer on AS/400.  I am going to stop, because in addition to the violent shits with occasional breaks to puke, I am developing a migraine.

I am sure that this platform has a viable role in the world……but I want to find the engineer who designed it, and rip off vital parts of his body……..with a pair of tweezers.

grrrrrr.

Written by bofhjr716

August 15, 2006 at 9:50 am

New Job

with 3 comments

So today I started my new job.   I work for a small but well established fuel injection and turbocharger repair, rebuild outfit here in Fort Worth. (( Bonus……7/10 of a mile from house)) My primary task, is to give them a violent shove into the 21st century.  This system is every Network admins worst nightmare. 6 AS/400e terminals +1 server , 5 stand-alone Windows boxes…. and a stand-alone Win2K advanced server as a DC.

My first thought as I am doing triage is this…..

WHO IS THE IGNORANT FUCK THAT ENGINEERED THIS?!?!?!?

Who might you ask?

None other than an individual who worked for IBM for 35 years.

Now I am sure this person is smart, that goes without saying. This person wrote a very nice program to handle all the day-to-day stuff.  Inventory, time clock, AR/AP stuff. and it is pretty much virus immune.  The long and short of the situation, is that the program was written in 1982, and offers little room for scalability. 

“Why is it not scalable?” you may ask.

Answer:  I am not a fucking AS/400 Programmer.  I know the mechanics of how it works…..In theory.  I explained this to my new boss, who in his Mister Rogers demeanor replies ” I understand this will be a learning experience for you. I have faith in your abilities.”  

Oh Boy.

So I call the programmer. 

Me :” Hello, I am the new IT guy, an I was wondering if you could give me an overview so I don’t break your toy”

 Programmer:  ” Sure……for 350 bucks an hour, and it will take 2 weeks”

Me: ” I am not looking for an IBM Cert on the whole AS/400 line, just want to know what not to do”

 Programmer:  ” Sure…..For 350 bucks an hour, and it will take 2 weeks”

Me:WTF???   ” Thank you, I will be in touch”

Click.

Ok, I prayed for a real IT job, and here it is…….. Dumbass

Written by bofhjr716

August 8, 2006 at 9:25 am

Posted in General