The Hell You Say!

The Bastard Junior Strikes Again!!!

Archive for April 2007

New Place

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Well, it’s finished. The move is complete, and the place is wonderful. The only part of moving I hate, is scoping out the new area for the eating joints, corner stores, and all the other assorted places folks might need to go.

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Written by bofhjr716

April 20, 2007 at 6:03 pm

Posted in General

Moving

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No new posts for a few days… doing the moving thing.

Written by bofhjr716

April 8, 2007 at 1:34 am

Posted in General

Joke of the Day

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This will make you laugh….. at least it will if you are an IT person.

Joke Of The Day:
Diary Of An AOL User…

July 18 – I just tried to connect to America Online. I’ve heard it is the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I’d better hold onto it incase they don’t ever send me anther one! I can’t connect. I don’t know what is wrong.

July 19 – Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don’t see why. He’s just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am?

July 22 – I bought the modem. I couldn’t figure out where it goes. It wouldn’t fit in the monitor or the printer. I’m confused.

July 23 – I finally got the modem in and hooked up. that nine year old next door did it for me. But it still don’t work. I cant get online.

July 25 – That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America Online for me. He’s so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he says that’s just another service. What a modest kid. He’s so smart and he does these services for people. Anyway he’s smarter then the jerks who sold me the modem. They didn’t even tell me about communications software. Bet they didn’t know. And why do they put two telephone jack holes in the back of a modem when you only need one? And why do they have one labeled phone when you are not suppose to hook it to the phone jack on the wall? I thought the dial tone sounded funny! Boy, are modem makers dumb! But the kid figured it out by the sound.

July 26 – What’s the Internet? I thought I was on America Online. Not this Internet thing. I’m confused.

July 27 – The nine year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. I told him he must be a genius. He says that he is compared to me. Maybe he’s not so modest after all.

July 28 – I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. maybe I need to buy a microphone.

July 29 – I found this thing called Usenet. I got out of it because I’m connected to America Online not Usenet.

July 30 – These people in this Usenet thing keep using capital letters. How do they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.

JULY 31 – I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT HAVING A CAPITAL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT WAS THIS CAPS LOCK KEY. WHY DIDN’T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT A CHEAP KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS ISN’T THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THAT’S A STANDARD. I TOLD HIM I DIDN’T WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD AN IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION.

AUGUST 1 – I FOUND THIS THING CALLED THE USENET ORACLE. IT SAYS THAT IT CAN ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INTERNET. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON.

AUGUST 2 – I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HA! HA! I WASN’T SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE TIMES.

AUGUST 3 – I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DON’T NOW SPIDERS GREW THAT LARGE.

AUGUST 4 – THE ORACLE RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ IT WAS RUDE. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO REC.HUMOR.ORACLE. I WASN’T SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22 MORE TIMES.

AUGUST 5 – SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO USE PROFANITY.

AUGUST 6 – SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES. WHAT A STUPID JERK. IM NOT SHOUTING! IM NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING! HOW CAN THEY LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET?

August 7 – Why have a Caps Lock key if you’re not suppose to use it? Its probably an extra feature that costs more money.

August 8 – I just read this post called make money fast. I’m so exited. I’m going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every news group I could find.

August 9 – I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I will have to work on it some more.

August 10 – I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that AOL should be wiped off the face of the earth. I wonder what an AOL is.

August 11 – I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I’ve looked and looked but I can’t find that group.

August 12 – I sent a post to every Usenet group on the Internet asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. hopefully someone will help. I cant ask the kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house he’s laughing so hard he can’t eat or sleep or do his homework. So they wont let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of humor. I don’t know why the rec.humor group didn’t like my chicken joke. Maybe they only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts about my 56 posts of the joke and they used bad words.

August 13 – I sent another post to every Usenet group on the Internet asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. I had forgot yesterday to include my new signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will want to read my favorite poem so I included it. I’m also going to add that short story I like.

August 14 – Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing. I told him I don’t have an account at his bank. He’s so dumb.


OK…. And users wonder why the IT guys are always laughing in their part of the cube farm.

Written by bofhjr716

April 8, 2007 at 1:32 am

Posted in General

Enjoyment

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As a species, we are creatures of habit. We love to have everything orderly. We want to know what is going to happen tomorrow, the day after, and the day after. We have come to the point where micro-manage our selves into not really living our lives. So, try this one out……. live for today.

Try to think about what will make you happy right now and do it. ( barring the chance that it’s illegal) Life is too damned short to worry about what is going to happen tomorrow, next month, or next year. Sure, planning for retirement or the standard things like bills, and ordinary obligations are a part of that life. Think on this though….. how many of you have planned your “fun”? Friday I am going to XYZ place with XYZ friend and we are going to have fun from 7-10 pm. Why not go have fun right now?

Live for today, for you never know what is going to happen tomorrow.

Written by bofhjr716

April 6, 2007 at 10:33 pm

Posted in General