The Hell You Say!

The Bastard Junior Strikes Again!!!

Archive for the ‘Extremely Pissed Off Bitches’ Category

Am I missing something here?

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Taken from a Fox “News” report :

A North Carolina pastor was relieved of his duties as an honorary chaplain of the state house of representatives after he closed a prayer  by invoking the name of Jesus.

“I got fired,” said Ron Baity, pastor of Berean Baptist Church in Winston-Salem. He had been invited to lead prayer for an entire week but his tenure was cut short when he refused to remove the name Jesus from his invocation.

Baity’s troubles began during the week of May 31. He said a House clerk asked to see his prayer. The invocation including prayers for our military, state lawmakers and a petition to God asking him to bless North Carolina.”

“When I handed it to the lady, I watched her eyes and they immediately went right to the bottom of the page and the word Jesus,” he told FOX News Radio. “She said ‘We would prefer that you not use the name Jesus. We have some people here that can be offended.’”

OK,   I get that not everyone shares the same religious beliefs.   I get the fact that some folks have no religious beliefs at all.   But fucking really?

#1 You invite a Baptist Preacher to do a prayer you are gonna hear the name Jesus used……..A LOT

#2 Let’s skip over the fact that he is Baptist and look at the fact he is Christian. Now lets analyze the word…. Chrisitan =Follower of JESUS CHRIST.  And you expect him not to use the Name of Jesus in his prayer.

I swear people, if the folks running our government lack that much common sense then we need some new ones.   I challenge every man and woman in America to vote.  I also challenge the American people to kick the fucking morons with no common sense out of office.   All I know is that if I was an incumbent in Washington… I would be fucking afraid I was about to lose my job.  Head socialist err I mean president included.

Written by bofhjr716

July 9, 2010 at 11:48 am

0 to Bastard in 0.0000001 second

with one comment

Some forward thinking politicians ( mark that down you may never see that from me again ) in the great state of Arizona decided that the immigration policy currently in effect wasn’t doing anything about the problem in their fair state.  They got together and passed legislation with THE BEST INTERESTS OF THEIR CITIZENS in mind.   Wow…. imagine that.  A government working for the people….  We should get one of those to sit in Washington D.C.        Well the pinko/socialist/liberal/apologetic/selfish/can’t be upstaged cockbag government couldn’t let a state succeed at doing something in 1 legislative session the they have yet to be able to do.

So…. here ya go.  Your federal tax dollars at work

Written by bofhjr716

July 6, 2010 at 4:34 pm

The repeat caller

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So have you ever been on the phone, and you get the tell tale beep that says hey mother fucker… someone is trying to call you.  BFD you say… Caller ID is not a new invention you say….   Well lets add some more info too that.

What got my balls in a bunch is I am sitting on the phone with my brother and beep.  I am like “fuck it, let it go to voice mail”.  not 10 seconds later BEEP.  Same bastage.

/bastard mode

Mother fucker…..   If I wanted to end my call and talk to you… I would have answered the 1st time.Even if I wasn’t on the phone… I could be jerking off, sleeping, doing laundry, cooking, or any number of things I don’t want to be disturbed whilst doing.  If I don’t answer the fucking phone, that means my to-do list has nothing anywhere on it about giving a shit for what you have to say to me.  I am not saying don’t call back, but fucking try back in a few hours, I am a marathon jerker.

/end bastard mode

Written by bofhjr716

July 3, 2010 at 12:07 pm

TSA part 1

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On Tuesday the 10th of November I got to Dallas Love Field in Dallas, Texas.   Like most passengers I moved to the ticket counter to check my bag, and check for any special NOTATs ( that’s Notice to Air Travelers for the uninformed).  Being a frequent air traveler, I am familiar with the majority of the Department of Homeland Security’s rules and regulations.  Some of them I am in complete agreement with.  Some of them makes me think they got some poor kid off the short bus, took his helmet from him, stuck him in a concrete room for a week, then told him..”Write some reg’s for us”.

This prompts my new name for the TSA.  I will no longer be referring to this agency as the Transportation Security Administration.       They are now..  Terminally Stupid Asshats.

While I had no issues taking my novel through security, the individual behind me was a Southwest Airlines Pilot in Command (also referred to as Captain).  On his flight case was several decals identifying him as a former United States Air Force pilot.  The Asshats practically stripped him in front of the terminal to clear him through security.  So here begins the real rant.

This poor guy spent several years as a pilot in the Air Force, meaning he held (and prolly still holds) a security clearance.  He is an airline pilot, which means these same asshats crawled up his ass with a scanning electron microscope to check everything about him and his family.  He holds an airman’s card (pilots license) which means the FAA crawled up his ass to check him out.  Yet these asshats are going to put him through this level of humiliation to get to his plane and do his job.

While I was putting my shoes back on watch the Asshats at the security checkpoint, I saw the “LEAD Asshat” tell a person to remove his laptop from the bag and power it on so he could verify it wasn’t an explosive device. …. I wasn’t aware the TSA flunkies at the airport were EOD trained.  And judging by the cursory examination of the laptop, they aren’t.   Even the non-trained, explosive stupid person who payed attention in chemistry class knows that with a few household chemicals you could make a plastic explosive.  Then with some solder and basic electronics knowledge, apply it to a non active circuit.     to the TSA I say this….. MORONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I am going to fast forward to Oakland, California.     While waiting for my plane to begin boarding, I saw a pack of asshats come walking through the concourse.  These 10 TSA folks come walking through like a Gestapo detachment.   They stop at our gate and begin “random pat downs”.  No biggie I tell myself.  I am sure some moron who has been promoted beyond ability based on a double digit IQ has decided these random pat downs are a good idea.  I clear the pat down, and hand the gate agent my boarding pass.  As I move into the receiving area of the jetway there is a lone Nazi Asshat who decides that a 6′ tall whiter than white redneck to talks like he spent 10 years driving cattle is particularly menacing, and needs a re-re-pat down.  OK.  This Gestapo crew was doing their job…. fine…..I get this…..  Those who made the rules that these folks with no critical thinking skills have to follow… are complete and total FUCKTARDS!!!!!!

I understand that the vast majority of criminals are stupid, but weeping Jesus on the Cross….. HELEN KELLER COULD SNEAK CONTRIBAND PAST THESE MORONS.

All I could think as I am on the plane to Portland was… that’s our tax dollars at work.   GG DHS   GG

Written by bofhjr716

November 14, 2009 at 12:45 pm

Insert key, turn….remove brain

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As many of you know, I spent a while as a truck driver. Although I no longer drive professionally, I still drive a passenger vehicle like most of you. The shit I see people pulling while out and about makes me wonder if the rules and regulations governing the issuance of a driver license has changed since I got mine.

1. Following Distance. In a passenger vehicle it is recommended to allow 1 sec per 5 feet of vehicle, then an additional second for every 10 mph over 30mph. So, for all the math impaired folks.. lets do some quick figuring. A person driving an average mid size car is doing 45 on Gutbucket Lane. 8ft car length = 2 sec 45mph-30mph = 15mph 10=1 second remember… so what about that extra 5mph….. ROUND UP MORONS. so we add 2 seconds for the speed over 30mph… what are we up to? 4 seconds. Remember, the life you save may be your own. Be my guest to turn your self into a grease spot on dumbass lane, but be courteous enough not to take someone else with you. And I am sure, someone out there gives a shit about you. Prolly not me, but hey..

Moral of the story…. STAY BACK The life you save may be your own.

2. Yellow lights. To most of the motoring public, a yellow traffic light means “drive like Al Unser to beat the red”. In reality, it means CLEAR THE INTERSECTION. Sure you lost a whopping 2 min while opposing traffic gets their turn… big fucking deal. If 2 min are going to make you late, you have a time management problem and your dumb ass deserves to be late.

Moral of the story… Light goes yellow, don’t be a douche. STOP

3. Right on red This means if there is no opposing traffic you can make a right turn even if you have a red light (Provided there is not a traffic sign forbidding this). Notice that there is the red light thing? Well what does a red light mean? Stop. Most municipalities have Gestapo traffic cops. The one I live in has Gestapo traffic cops trained by a cross-breed of Stalin and Himler. If you don’t come to a complete stop before the turn, your ass will get cited.

Moral of the story… STOP, then turn if safe to do so.

4. Parking lot courtesy. I was out and about with the matriarch of the bastard clan. We had finished our shopping, gotten back to the car, and I was backing out of the parking space. 2/3 of the way out, this goofy fucker turns down the row we are on and just drives right behind me. I may be completely wrong on this, but I was taught that when backing out, if you are less than halfway out and a vehicle is approaching in the lane, they have the right of way. If you are more than halfway out, and a vehicle approaches, you have the right of way. It’s simple fucking courtesy.

Moral of the story…. Use some fucking patience and common courtesy.

I am gonna catch heat for this one, but this is my blog, so if you don’t like it….gnaw the bark off my big fat log

5. Cell phone use while driving. You can say what you want, but here is your empirical proof…

Cell phone distraction causes 2,600 deaths and 330,000 injuries in the United States every year, according to the journal’s publisher, the Human Factors and Ergonomics Society.

If the conversation you are having is important enough to stay on the phone, and you do not at the very least have a hands free device….. PULL THE FUCK OVER. I don’t want to be the person you crash into and kill because you are bumping your gums to some one over something that could have waited till you got where you were going.

Moral of the story… hang up the phone and drive

6. Accident. An accident is a specific, identifiable, unexpected, unusual and unintended external action which occurs in a particular time and place, without apparent or deliberate cause but with marked effects.( thanks Wikipedia) There is no such thing as an accident in a vehicle. National Transportation Safety Board, National Safety Council, and many other groups are of the very same opinion. What we have are traffic collisions or crashes. The hell you say? It may be an accident to you, because you were driving like the poster child for traffic law observance. Was the other person? If the answer is no, then it was preventable, therefore not an accident. If a meteor falls from the sky and kills you, I will say, if you had left 15 min earlier or later you wouldn’t have died….preventable.

Moral of the story…. Be aware of what is going on around you, obey the traffic laws, drive safe and you reduce your chances of a traffic collision exponentially.

Too many people focus on everything but that they should when they drive, it’s like they remove their brain when they put the key in the ignition… What should I be focusing on you may ask?

DRIVING DUMBASS

So… to sum up..

While in a vehicle:
1. Be aware of your surroundings
2. Respect the other people who have to share the road with you
3. Obey the traffic laws
4. Stay off the phone, or at least use a hands free device
5. Allow for proper following distance
6. Use your brain… you know, that the grey goo that fills the lump 3 feet above your ass.

And while I am on this topic…. I want all of you to think about this the next time you start bitching about them on the road.

Before you…. Ate it, wore it, used it, drove it, drank it, wrote with it, surfed the web with it, watched it, drove on it, or bought it..

A trucker brought it.

Written by bofhjr716

November 3, 2009 at 10:30 am

Musicus Interuptus

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Interuptus : according to the bastard jr. v.  Causing someone to stop an activity that they are engaged in.

 

So yesterday I am playing the 12 string, taking a little break from working on a PC of a family friend.  When I play my music, I get into a groove.  It’s  a kind of Zen state if you will.  It allows me to relax and recharge, all while expressing what little artistic talent I have.  If I feel like stopping or have a set time to stop, that’s one thing.  But being forced to stop because some cockbag fuckfaced jerkoff decides that’s the time to call me and sell me shit over the telephone makes me want to take a pair of barbed wire fencing pliers, and rip his anus out through his nose.

Now you might say that is a tad extreme.   You might even say ” Now Adam, that’s over reacting a bit now ain’t it?”  To those that may ask that… you obviously don’t know me very well.  That’s not even getting warmed up.   I have very, very few real passions in my life.  my music is one of them though.  So please….. don’t screw with it.

Written by bofhjr716

October 30, 2009 at 7:46 am

AS/400 ……..

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So today, as I sit home with the latest bug, I figure I can still make myself useful.  I am reading everything the web has to offer on AS/400.  I am going to stop, because in addition to the violent shits with occasional breaks to puke, I am developing a migraine.

I am sure that this platform has a viable role in the world……but I want to find the engineer who designed it, and rip off vital parts of his body……..with a pair of tweezers.

grrrrrr.

Written by bofhjr716

August 15, 2006 at 9:50 am