The Hell You Say!

The Bastard Junior Strikes Again!!!

Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category

AS/400 ……..

with one comment

So today, as I sit home with the latest bug, I figure I can still make myself useful.  I am reading everything the web has to offer on AS/400.  I am going to stop, because in addition to the violent shits with occasional breaks to puke, I am developing a migraine.

I am sure that this platform has a viable role in the world……but I want to find the engineer who designed it, and rip off vital parts of his body……..with a pair of tweezers.

grrrrrr.

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Written by bofhjr716

August 15, 2006 at 9:50 am

PCI What?

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  As a computer builder/repair tech, I am always searching for the best price for my customer.  In today's market.. ”He who can deliver the best dollar value product, gets the customer”.  Servicing business and home customers can be a little tricky, hardware wise, so you have to be on top of your game. Which leads into my current bitch.

      I have a customer who wants a server….nothing real fancy mind you, but something with adequate expansion room and plenty of goodies to run what he wants. I am thinking yee friggin Haw.  Finally a "REAL" server build.     Wrong Answer.  The #@(#&^ gives me a budget.  OK  So…  get all my parts thought out in my head…scratch that…too spendy.  On and on this goes till I come in under budget….by $34.00 Right on!!             

                                                     So Sorry…..Wrong Again

  This particular board has 1 AGP slot, 1 PCI Slot, and 5 PCI x Slots.   Need a Serial ATA controller card, a Parallel controller card, and a proprietary card used for my customers business.  The customer's card is PCI.  So I need these other 2 cards in PCI x.  And I need them ASAP if I want my early completion bonus.  Let the phone calls begin.

My regular 3 in town suppliers don't have what I am after….     no biggie….             

                                                   LET'S CALL FRY'S 

                                            !!!!!!!!BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!

I  spent 25 minutes on the phone with Johnny Joe Jerkoff trying to tell him I need PCI x…. 

I will just call him Jerkoff…says "oh, yeah, we have PCI Express Cards"  "I need PCI x" I say.  " I just said we have them" replies Jerkoff.  So I go into the PCI lettering system, and explain to him what a jerkoff he is, and the fact that if he is going to sell computer parts, he might want to be able to identify them. 

So, along with my three main categories of computer users….I am developing a class system for salespeople.   JJ Jerkoff….you are officially a FUCK TARD!!! 

Written by bofhjr716

April 6, 2006 at 7:19 pm

Three Categories of Computer Users

with 2 comments

As a systems administrator/desktop support tech relatively new in the field, I have come to a conclusion. Computer users are based in classes. Three major classes. Each with their own sub-classes (different post entirely). It’s these major ones I am going to talk about today.

First you have every administrators dream…. The Super User.

The Super User will handle a good deal of the day to day stuff on their machine. Generally when the super user calls you with a problem ….. THERE IS A PROBLEM!!!!

The thing that makes every admin weep, is that only about 5 percent of users are super users.

Second you have the (L)user Just a annoying pain in the ass from time to time

The (L)user will call you with problems that are really not his/her responsibility to take care of, but he/she could. They are the folks that think that when their Windows® media player won’t work….the world is coming to an end. Most of the time, they are harmless, but when the get a bug up their ass, break out the valium, Tylenol, and .357mag

Then the last type of user………. COMPLETE FUCK-TARD

That is short for fucking retard for those who don’t understand Bastard IT lingo. This is the person that can get an IT person fired quickly, or put in the penitentiary( for loosing their cool). Or we as IT guys can do what we do best….. GET EVEN. We dig into our little bag of tricks, and torment the poor bastards mercilessly. These are the people who cause us the most grief, but who give us the most pleasure!!!

Thank you oh FUCK-TARDS

More to come on this subject later.

Written by bofhjr716

March 28, 2006 at 1:50 pm

Posted in Technology, Work